BAD?

why is it that it’s really difficult to be nice? Or maybe I’m just a bad person. Haizt… well I don’t know..z If you are super nice people expect so much from you…. and it always end up with disappointment. But If you are a bad person people don’t expect anything from you. But the sad part is..what ever you do people will think its bad… hjahahahah what ever… I dont even know If i make sense!

TAMA o MALI

Tama o mali? panu ba natin malalaman kung ginagawa natin ay tama o mali?

Is it the way we feel? O dahil sa mga sasabihin o magiging reaction ng tao sa palikid mo kaya  mo malalaman kung tama ang gina gawa mo o mali? O dahil sa batas na binigay ng gobyerno? o dahil sa pangaral ng bibliya?

Kung nakaka sakit ka ba ng damdamin ng ibang tao, ikaw ba ay ma consider na mali? na bad person? na maka salanan?Pano kun ginawa mo yun dahil gusto mo gumawa ng kabutihan? pano mo masasabi na mali ang ginawa mo?

Kung naka patay ka, masamang tao ka! yan ang sabi ng batas.. ang pa kitil ng buhay ng tao ay masamang gawain sa mata ng tao at ng batas.. at yun din ang pangaral ng bibliya.. pero matanong ko lang… yung mga tao sa war, mga pulis.. na nakaka patay ng kriminal.. naisip ba natin na masama silang tao? eh nakaka patay din naman sila diba? pero hindi… like hired killers.. they are hired to kill people.. thats their job.. as well as pulis.. its their job… may pinag ka iba oo.. malaki. pero ano ba talaga ang masamang gawain sa mabuti?

Minsan naman, tayung mga tao di natin nagagawa mga bagay na gusto nating gawin.. kasi sabi ng ibang mga taong kala mo alam nila ang tama sa mali.. ay sinasabi nilang mali ang ginagawa mo… pero sino sila para mag sabi kung ano ang tama sa mali? alam ba nila kung ano ang tama sa mali? They don’t have any rights to tell you whats wrong or right.. Gusto mong gawin dapat mo gawin.. wag mag papa niwala sa mga chismosang kontrabida ng buhay

Para sakin ikaw lang makaka alam kung ginagawa mo ay tama o mali.. Lahat tayu may utak at pakiramdam to determine whats wrong or right. If its doesn’t feel right , well baka nga di tama… If you do things.. lahat may consequences.. kung ang katumbas ng gagawin mo makaka buti.. well maybe tama ang gagawin mo.. kung makaka sama well baka nga mali to..

My point is.. wrong or right… dapat nating isipin ang mga gagawin nating desisyun sa buhay… kasi tayu din mismo ang haharap sa lahat ng desiyun na gagawin natin.. kahit ano pa sabihin ng iba… alam na alam mo na ikaw parin ang mag desisyun sa buhay mo.. wrong or right.. tama or mali… ikaw lang makaka pili…

3:55 am

September 3:55 am i lost one of the reason that always put smile on my face.. The one who take all the stress that i have by just being so “kulit”.. He is my baby.. my gift for my self.. a gift from above..

The whole night i did not sleep.. hoping that maybe if I’ll be awake the whole night, feeding him with treatment that he needs he will be okey in the morning.. but I was wrong…

It was raining so bad.. It’s the night where the bagyo Ondoy strike metro manila.. There’s no flood in our area.. Rain wont stop from falling into the sky as wells as the tears that falling from my eyes… I was there sitting on the floor.. watching my precious baby… No heartbeat… I keep on checking every 5 mins If he is still breathin.. I was thingking maybe he was just  sleeping… But NO…. I shouted, crying, begging Poochie not to go.. crying my heart out.. But… I think It wasn’t enough.. He’s really gone… No more kisses from my baby dog, no more waking up early just to feed him, no more cleaning his pupu every morning, no more happiness, no more Poochie…

Bye my baby dog, bye my Poochie.. You’ll always in my heart.. I’ll love you forever.. Now I know the meaning of missing some one so much it hurts..

The love that I can’t Have

I wasn’t happy being here without you by my side
Memories of you still lingers in my mind
Thought of you just adding up the pain inside
but how can I forget someone who’s special in my heart

Even if i run a hundred miles away from you
I know I’ll come back because i won’t last a day without you
And even if I lie a thousand times
I could never deny the truth that my heart beats only for you

This love that i feel is like a poison that slowly killing me
And the only cure is for you to love me
I know I would end up dead
For the love that I wish is not for me to keep

I know it’s painful for me to still love you
The thought of leaving you is so hard to do
And waking up each morning knowing I can’t have you
Is the most saddest thing I have to deal just to get through

Crying is not enough to ease this pain inside
An endless pain causes by the love i can’t have
But sooner or later I have to let this love go
Or else I will lost my mind If I keep on loving you so.

*** I wrote this poem a couple of years ago.. cause i fall for this guy… and well he didn’t love me back.. I mean i thought we feel the same.. but i guess I’m just a friend to him… well I was heart broken a couple of years a go… and I would just to share this poem that i wrote.. I’m not a pro… It’s just that I was so emotional that time hahahahah… but i already forgot about him LOL…

Risking For Love

You’re the sweetest dream that I’ve always wanted
A dream that I wish would never ended
But If this dream of mine would turn to nightmare
I would never wake up for waking up is worst than nightmare

Your lips is the only lips that i wanted to kiss
A kiss that I know would always taste sweet
But If that kiss would be a poison thats means death
I would rather take the risk and die than regret not tasting it

You heart melting smile that wipes me off my feet
That made me realize you’re the guy i want to keep
but If that smile is a warning for a future pain
I would rather stay and watch you smile for leaving make me go insane

Loving you so much brings so much happiness
That put up a smile on my face even in my sleeps
But if falling for you means falling into grave
I would never think twice on falling and wish its me you would save

Rainy Goodbye’s

As I watch the rain touches the ground
I felt a sudden of sadness had come around
I felt a cold wind of emptiness had been blown in my heart
And suddenly a drop os a teahad drop from my eyes

The wonderful sunshine had turn into a scary nightmare
Sounds of singing birds was replace by a cried of loneliness
A wonderful rainbow that used to make me smile
Now look so lonely like a cloudy black sky

The rain would’nt stop and i feel like drowning
Drowning with misery that would’nt stop on pouring
As the leaves of the trees dances with the wind
I felt like I’ve been swept by the breeze of an unwanted sadness

I cried with the rain releasing all thats inside
Pouring out all the pain you left behind
When will the sun come back and give me a light
For this rain would not stop flooding my life.

My Superhero

You give me strength when I am down
You make me smile  every time i frown
When a great storms come you were my home
And every time I’m cold you didn’t left me all alone

You were my shield in my every fight
An armor who protect me with all it’s might
You push away who tries to hurt me
An angel in disguise that see the real me

You were my sun in my darkest hour
Who gave me a sweet kiss every time I feel sour
Even in my dreams you were always there
saving me from a very scary nightmare

You were my love song in my noisiest days
A very sweet melody that push away my fears
You were a dream that I wish would last
Because forever happiness you brought in my life

But all of this is just fantasy
A fantasy that in movies you could only see
A super hero that we all know isn’t real
Forever will be a fantasy but we still wish will soon be real.

****I wrote this poem for almost 3 years a go…. It was once in our life we dream of finding that person who will protect us… the Mr. right that will swept us off or feet… heheeheheh well that was long time ago.. and yes I failed to find that super hero guy that i want… Mr.right? theres no such thing as Mr.Right.. for me it’s not real.

My cheesy moments.. LOL (my love story)

I wrote this blog last May 4, 2007.. well i was heart broken.. laugh if you want.. well i laugh.. LOL

I feel really sad when he said his leaving, february 21 the last goodbye had been said, the last kiss was been given and a tear of loneliness had been drop…
Why do people have to meet if they would just end up being away to eah other?
Why does he make me fall for him knowing that he wont love me back? This question are still lingering in my mind….
Why do he has to care, make me feel special, make me taste his sweet kiss and make me feel he do love me, when all along he keep on repeating that he can’t love me?
Why does it hurt so much to love? I thought its the most wonderful feeling that we could feel…Why do we have to fall knowing we might get burn?
I have heard this line in a movie that i watch a couple of weeks ago. The girl ask why does he have to fall again even if we have been hurt and her friend answer her back ” Love is the closest thing to magic”
She is right… loving someone is like magic.. It can’t be explain how did it start or what really love is, we just feel it….
For now I’m still holding on to the love that i feel for him.. I don’t have that enough courage to let this love go…. Its so hard…
I really hate this feeling that I’m feeling right now.. Its like my heart is being stab by a needle every time i remember him, and you can’t do anything about what you feel.. all you could do is to cry just to lessen the pain that you are feeling….
I really want to have a machine that could erase those memories i have with him so i wont feel this way right now…
No one knows what i feel right now, only me…. I’ve been crazy this past week…
My eyes are getting kinda tired for crying all night long….
I hope i could sew my heart back together so I could love again….

here’s the link to my other blog where i the 1st time i wrote this thing LOL

http://www.lovelandia.com/archive/Last_Kiss

Hopeful

Once in my life I wish for the right guy
A guy who could love me with all it’s might
Who could shower me with happiness and wont make me cry
A guy who will be as a beautiful blue sky

Like a soft wind that’s how i want to be touch
To kiss me with pure love and not because of lust
To teach me to forgive even if I had been hurt so bad
And to be my crying shoulder everytime I feel really sad

Like a flower his heart will bloom even more beautiful
even if the world will turn into hateful
An angel who will guid me even in my sleeps
And to the right it will surely lead me

When will be that day that I would see
This guy that I’ve been dreaming that could love me
I will never stop on hoping even is it takes forever
Because forever happiness I would feel the day we could be together.

***hahaha High school thing..

Fool For love

I don’t want to curse someone that i consider as my past
I don’t want to hate someone who did hurt me so much
I didn’t shut my doors for someone who made me cry
For that someone once lighten up my life

I don’t consider you as my nightmare of my past
Who destroy my sweet dreams every night
You are not my darkest day of my past
But a happy memory that I wish would last

You did hurt me a million times
But that won’t stop me for loving you so much
I know it may sound stupid but this is what i feel
I could deny the pain but not the love that’s so real

Many said i have to let this love go
For it will just hurt me even more
But for me letting you go
Would mean an eternity of loneliness and wont stop to grow